NO GOOD THING (Reposting from An Older, Private Blog of Mine)

I just came across something I posted in August 2014 on a private blog I have. That was seven month before my first ever pregnancy (the one that ended at five weeks).

The hope Jesus brought to my soul through His Word on that day in August carried me through so many events thereafter (bigger and smaller) that--on the surface--did not look good, or at the very least looked like my Father was withholding good from me.

It is amazing to me to see in my own words that yes, I was indeed still holding on to hope of my womb being opening after over a decade. This is not a testimony to me. This is a testimony to the power of Jesus' invitation to our hearts to engage desire. He is good. All the time.


AUGUST 30, 2014

5756 days. Or, 15 years, 9 months and 4 days.

After 15 years, who is still counting days?! Well, when you’re talking infertility and you are an endless optimist, about once a month, you can’t help but notice the days. Maybe I’m the only one who would still hold onto this dream after a decade and a half. I can hardly even admit that to myself most days. It feels so foolish. And yet my heart will not let it go. Oh, how I have tried to kill it at times.

And then, came the month with several more days than usual. We’re talking it had been over a year since there had been this much reason to dare to hope.

And while that hope was still alive, and even growing, the Spirit drew me to His Word as he so faithfully does. Almost every day, I read at least one Psalm. I move through them pretty systematically and so, I was reading the “next one” and this is what I found:

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.

~Psalm 84:11

And I knew right then and there that if He continues to withhold that thing from me that I so deeply long for, then—for me, for now—it is not a good thing. The comfort that came with that is more than I can put into words. But my Father knew what I needed to hear for what lay ahead and tenderly spoke it to my soul.

The 20 Week Ultrasound Shows...

After much anticipation, today finally arrived and we headed down to see our midwife.

The predictions landed at an even 32 (unless I am forgetting something someone told me...there may have been one other vote for girl). Of course, Caleb's 2nd grade classmates really helped to even that out, voting 22 to 3 for a boy. They know him well. :)

Caleb has faithfully been praying for a boy the last several nights. I told Joseph on the way there that I have bonded with a DAUGHTER and it would be an adjustment to re-orient.

The conclusive decision took some time because this is one lively baby! All the measurements looked great--50th percentile--and the placenta is in a good place, too. All around relief. Oh, and the heart was beating strong at 160.

Here is how we celebrated, which should pretty much give you the much anticipated answer:

And if that's not clear enough, how about this?

And if you are still uncertain, I'll make it totally obvious:

I think Caleb is adjusting pretty well to the idea. And this consolation prize may have helped a bit:

Most of all, we are thankful that everything still looks healthy and right on schedule! I am still daily amazed at this gift we have been given, this answer to so many prayers of so many!

I continue to feel spoiled with how good I have felt throughout this pregnancy.